What You Need To Know Before He Pops The Question

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by Wendy Bridger

With Valentines Day looming, the stores are full of items to buy your special someone. Lots of women will get flowers, boxes of candy, and sentimental cards from the one that they love. Many will get a small jewelry box holding a beautiful diamond ring attached with a question of commitment and moving their relationship forward.

Being proposed to is a special event for any woman. I’ll never forget the traditional military saber arch that my husband organized as he knelt at the end of it with my sparkling engagement ring and a simple, life changing question. How could I say no to such a set up? Saying yes to his proposal that day was the best decision of my life.

Unfortunately, for many, the joy of this event disappears as the hype of the wedding dies down and real life begins. All too often, women forget about another important question they should have answered before they were proposed to: “Is he the one?”

Today, lots of couples choose to slide instead of decide in their relationships. They become acquainted with one another and like each other enough to go out. When nothing better comes along, they continue to stay with each other. After a while, they realize they’ve gotten along okay together and decide to move in together. Sooner or later, they get married for similar reasons. It’s just easier to move the relationship forward than it is to move on and let go, opening the door for a better relationship for the both of them. Through it all, they never stopped to ask, “Is this the right one for me?”

It’s hard to imagine, but studies show those who live together before marriage actually have a higher divorce rate. How is this possible? I believe it is because of the way people choose their marital partners nowadays. Instead of deciding on who to marry based on compatibility and future goals, couples now slide into marriage more as a matter of default.

Don’t let this be you. As you prepare for this Valentines Day, be sure to include making a conscious decision about the direction of your relationship. Be sure to have asked, “Is he right for me?” before he asks an equally important, life changing question.

How do you do this? Your heart is too caught up in the emotion. And let’s face it, your friends and family may have your best interest at heart, but have a very partial opinion at best. What you need is unbiased data to guide your heart. Information from professionals, compatibility tests and honest self reflection are a great way to start you off on answering “Is he the right one for me?” and knowing what to do this Valentines Day.

About the Author:

Wendy Bridger, MSSW helps women crethete enduring soul mthete relthetionships. “Is He Right for Me?” is the compthetibility test she provides to help women decide if their boyfriend is the one.