Get Your Ex Back - Are You Pushing Your Ex Away?

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by Claire Tourney

If you really want to get your ex back it’s important to understand that the emotional pain you are experiencing right now could keep you from some clear thinking. Unless you want to keep blundering along and make it even harder to get your ex back you must take a step back and honestly evaluate how you have handled the break-up situation so far. You may not realize that you may actually be pushing your ex even further away instead of increasing the odds in your favor that you will get your ex back.

Something seems to happen to people who feel like they have lost someone or something they desperately want to get back, they allow their emotions to take over and don’t realize that desperation sets in. Soon you are exhibiting the push away behaviors that make it much harder to get your ex to come back to you.

If you continually beg or plead with your ex to get back together with you it will only drive them further away. You might think that if you can only convince them of how much you love and need them, they will finally understand and come rushing back into your waiting arms. You may be surprised to find instead that you could be pushing them into the waiting arms of someone else instead!

You need to regain your dignity here. Just think of all the classic movie scenes where you watched the ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend character desperately trying to win their lover back with needy declarations of undying love, or convince the ex of their attempts to change, or make it up to them for whatever they thought they did wrong.

As you remember the scene did you find yourself cringing inside with embarrassment for the poor man or woman that was on the screen exhibiting such humiliating behavior and didn’t even realize it? Did you wonder why they couldn’t see how much they were hurting instead of helping their chances of getting their ex to come back to them?

Do you see yourself in that movie scenario? Are you doing any of these things that are not only pushing your ex away, but making you feel worse about yourself even though you think you are powerless to stop it?

I’m sure you are thinking that it doesn’t matter if your self esteem takes a beating, if you can just convince your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend of your love that you will win them back so you will do anything it takes, even move mountains to get them to understand how much you love and need them. You have to realize that you are building mountains between you and your ex instead. Or perhaps your thinking that you know that yours is a true love and true love conquers all! Well true love is the operative word, or perhaps the better term would be real love instead.

Real love isn’t clingy or desperate. The fact is that real love is confident enough to allow your ex to have the space they need right now, you must give them time to breath and get their emotional state in balance before you make your next move. And when you make your next move make sure you play it smart and you will make it all the more likely that you will be pulling your ex back to you instead of continuing to push them away instead.

Now don’t give up if you feel you’ve messed things up too much - it’s never too late! Take that step back and give it a break. Use the time wisely to get yourself together and start learning a SMARTER WAY to get your ex back.

About the Author:

Hi, I’m Claire Tourney and I empathize with how you are feeling right now. If you would like to get your self-esteem back and get your ex back too, learn more from my Squidoo lens Get Your Ex Back - The Smart Way!