10 Common Break Up Blunders To Avoid If You Want Your Ex Back

by Claire Tourney

If you are still not over your break up and would really like to have a chance at winning your ex-lover back, you have to make sure you are not committing the types of breakup blunders that actually will make it harder to win your ex back.

Are you guilty of committing any of these ten break up blunders?

1. Telling your ex that they are making a huge mistake. This won’t convince your ex to change their mind, they will only be more relieved that they decided to break up with you in the first place.

2. Calling too soon after the break up. Your ex has broken up with you and it should be clear enough that they want some space right now and the last thing they need is to hear from you.

3. Drunk Dialing. You may be drowning your sorrows and the alcohol is intensifying your emotional state so you keep calling and trying to get your ex to talk to you…. See #2

5. Leaving a lot of voice mail and email messages…. Again - see #2

5. Telling your ex and everyone else who will listen how badly you have been doing since the break up. You may be hoping to appeal to your ex’s sympathetic nature but you are saddling them with your emotions and overwhelming them with your neediness instead. And however unintentional this kind of behavior is manipulative and is a real relationship killer.

6. Continuing to argue about the break up and bringing up past disagreements and squabbles. If you do get your ex’s attention and get them talking to you this is not the best use of any contact time. You are being immature and petty and this isn’t going to get you back with your ex, instead it will keep you constantly cycling through the past history of your relationship.

7. Professing your undying love over and over. Even if you don’t think your ex completely gets how much you really and truly love them, obviously that is not the issue right now or they wouldn’t have wanted to break up. You need to take a different perspective and sort through what went wrong with the relationship and what needs to change instead of thinking that true love is the answer to everything.

8. Apologizing over and over again. Now if you did something wrong, really blew it by cheating or breaking a big promise you know you need to apologize. But if you don’t know the right way to make an apology, (and hardly anyone does) you won’t be able to repair the rift in the relationship. You also have to know when to apologize instead of apologizing too soon. And if you really didn’t do anything that needs to be apologized for then you are only demeaning yourself and this will make you even less attractive to your ex.

9. Trying to make your ex jealous. Now this may work initially because of the way humans are wired to seem to want what they can’t have, and may even be a small part of a smart strategy to get your ex back. But it still won’t help you in the long run if you are only depending on manipulative tactics to win your ex back. The underlying problems that caused the break up in the first place will still be there and if those aren’t addressed you’ll only be heading for another break up.

10. Pleading with your ex to take you back. The big secret here is this: people like people who like themselves, who are strong and emotionally secure enough not to want someone back so much that they will sacrifice their self dignity by begging.

Now that you know what blunders to avoid when trying to win back your ex girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife it’s time to get a perspective on where the relationship went wrong and what needs to change and then you can begin planning a SMARTER strategy for getting your ex back.

About the Author:

Hi I’m Claire Tourney. You can to avoid the Major Mistakes most people make trying to get their ex back. Get SMARTER steps and a successful, PROVEN plan for winning your ex back by checking out Squidoo lens Get Your Ex Back - The Smart Way!