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10 Ways to Make Your Illness Support Group Uplifting

Filed Under Disease & Illness |




by Lisa Copen

If you have a chronic illness or live with chronic pain, it’s highly likely that you have attended a support group at least one time since your diagnosis. Did the experience go something like this?

You feel exhausted and not very motivated to attend the meeting but you decided to go anyway. Find the meeting place, a parking spot and the right room leaves you wiped out. At last you locate a hard, sticky seat. A few people smile at you, but there is a discussion going about now aggravating doctors can be. Soon the topic moves to people comparing how many milligrams and pain killers they need and it feels like your pain is minimized because you are on less than most people. Two people try to convince you to try their juice remedy and you want to run screaming. It’s so depressing!

Aren’t support groups supposed to be beneficial in coping with illness?

Yes, they are! Studies done on support groups by David Spiegel, MD, have found that support groups do improve the quality of life for their attendees. Recently studies have concluded, however, that the lifespan of a patient with cancer may not increase because of a support group environment (CANCER, Sept 2007). However, we cannot deny the fact that the validation of one’s feelings about their illness definitely makes a difference in how they cope with chronic illness.

You may have attended a support group in the past or perhaps you are looking for leadership ideas for one you are starting. Regardless of how long you have (or have not) participated in one, it’s likely that you’ve seen how quickly the groups can move from being an honest and sharing place to a session of complaints and even quarreling. Would you like some fresh icebreaker games for small groups to perk people up?

Here are 10 tips to help you make your chronic illness support group include some laughter as well as just the discussion of challenges. And these ideas will work for any groups, from a Dementia support groups in Dallas to an Ebsteins Anomaly support group. And these ideas are perfect to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group.

1. Make faces on sticks. It may sound silly, but sometimes getting back to basics works best. Cut out smiley faces and sad faces and glue them on each side of a stick or plastic knife. As people take turns sharing about their week, make sure they can show both sides of the faces. For example, Kim may hold up the sad face while she says “getting ready for surgery and all the therapy afterwards has been stressful.” (Then she can flip the face over to a smiley face) “But I’ve really appreciated how many family members has volunteered to help with childcare.”

2. Redefine your conception of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, start a JOY box and ask everyone to bring an item for it that someone else can take home with them. Have each person choose an item at the end of the meeting. It could be a silly toy, a cartoon, a rubber fish, or great book, a poem, a note someone sent that encouraged you, or even a funny DVD. Ask everyone to return them at the next meeting and exchange it for another item. Refresh the box up now and then.

3. Here’s a unique icebreaker for small groups. Make a silly theme song that you use to start the meeting. You can pick a song and make up new lyrics too. Check out comedian Anita Renfroe for some good ideas about how to make a song your own at her web site.

4. Bring some corny things to use during your meetings. Avoid making anyone feel pressured to use them. (If you force someone to wear a clown nose she may never come back) Have them available, however, and encourage goofiness before getting down to the real reasons you are there. Oriental Trading supply is the source of thousands of funny items guaranteed to spur a giggle.

5. Don’t allow the group to turn into a platform for any one member who talks incessantly about her illness, the treatment, the alternative treatments or even her complaints. If you have someone dominating the conversation, tell the group you are implementing a timer and set your own guidelines. (For example, can people vent for 60 seconds about anything they want? Can they share about an alternative treatment they want the group to try? Give them a time limit.)

6. Ask everyone to bring an encouraging item to include in a gift basket for someone in need who is either unable to attend the group or not even a member. Put your heads together about what kinds of items to include. You can find over five-hundred simple ideas in the book “Beyond Casseroles.” Remember personal notes mean a lot, even from people you don’t know, so ask people to write a sentence or two to include with the item.

7. Plan a fun evening for the group. If everyone wants a nice sit down restaurant, that’s fine, but you have more fun at your local kid’s pizza playing pinball. It can definitely be a successful icebreaker for small groups. A different environment may encourage some people to be vulnerable who have remained quiet previously.

8. Have items on hand that will encourage people to thrive despite their illness. For example, National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness week has fun things like bumper stickers, pins, mugs and stickers that have themes like “My illness is invisible but my hope shines through.”

9. Invite guest speakers who you trust will speak positively. Inform your speakers that they can “tell it like it is” but that you always want people to leave the meeting feeling energized; not depressed. Let them know they can use props, tell a joke, or do whatever it takes to keep people paying attention.

10. The people in your group are quite amazing and able to make a difference. This is important for them to remember since they often feel so out of control. Your group may not be able to actually walk for charity, but they can likely work at a registration table, pass out bottles of water for a walk/run, or even just hand out presents to kids at the children’s hospital. Teens with chronic illness often get support groups can be great motivators for these kinds of outings. Find a project people are passionate about where they can see they are making a difference in the lives of others.

Illness can be one of the most isolating experiences people have, and support groups provide a sense of belonging in the midst of this. The levels of relationship that form in the group, however, are significantly influenced by how uplifting the leader makes the group environment. None of us want to leave a meeting feeling worse than when we came, but rather refreshed and motivated to live the best life possible. With just a few changes, your support group can go from being a simple meeting, to becoming a lifeline for those involved.

About the Author:
Find more ideas for icebreakers for small groups with your free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from “Beyond Casseroles” by Lisa Copen. Just sign up for a weekly encouragement ezine, HopeNotes.



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